Category: Uncategorized

Introducing the “Pit Parties”

Freshman year of high school was when Emilia, Mia, Lola and I became inseparable (even though we kinda already were). We were literally connected at the hip. Everyone knew if one of us was somewhere the other 3 were not far behind (Lizzy was very close with us too, but she attended a different high school). Wanna know something funny? We actually referred to ourselves as the crude crew. classy right? We even made up a song to go along with our name…super embarrassing. Anyways, this post is where I am going to get more into the “pit parties” that we used to go to every weekend in high school. The “pits” are something that have been in Groveland for generations upon generations, my parents even went there when they were kids, maybe even my grandparents too. All in all it was a good fucking time; huge bonfire, all your friends in one place, drinking, and smoking, what more could you ask for as a teenager?

I distinctly remember us 4 would bring our iPod’s, put in our head phones, and jam out to “Tik Tok” by Ke$ha on our walk down there to get pumped up for the night. I know you’r probably thinking about how strange we were, but I think we knew it and did not care. We just thought we were super cool.

There were weekends after weekends we had to sneak around our parents and lie about where we were. Especially if you had those parents that wanted to call your friends parents to see if you were ACTUALLY sleeping there. I know someone reading this had parents like this! Lola,Emilia, Mia and I had this down to a science though, except maybe for a couple times, like when we all told our parents we were going to spring fling and then went to a huge pit party, but then get brought home by the cops at 2am. lol that was BAD. However, I am trying to get to the story of when it was right around my 15th or 16th birthday. I had just gotten these brand new coach shoes because those were the shoes that were “in” at the time. I think the weekend after I got them it was when we went to a pretty big party.

There was this stream you had to cross in order to get out to the pits. You had to jump from rock to rock, which were obviously slippery. Well what do you think my hot mess of a self did? Me and my bright ideas thought it would be awesome to wear my coach shoes to the pits! WRONG. Because when it was my turn to cross the stream I of course slipped on a mossy rock and ate shit into the stream. It wasn’t just a dunk either it was like full head to toe, soaked (and of course every time before this I had crossed perfectly fine, i was also sober!). I didn’t care though because I still went and partied my ass off even soaking wet.

This same night Lola had shown up but she was with someone else. She had just gotten knee surgery a couple weeks before this and was in a full leg cast (yes, as you can see no matter what condition we were in we still partied). It was a regular thing for the cops to show up at the pits and we had to run from them, but this night was extra special. Because it wasn’t just the cops that came it was the whole gang, fire trucks and all. I was next to Lola when we saw the cop lights so we started booking it. I am pretty sure Mia was with us while we were running. EXCEPT, remember Lola was in a full leg cast? Yeah that didn’t go so well…we almost got caught like 4 times and finally just jumped into a bush because Lola was just gimping along. WE MADE IT OUT THOUGH and after it cleared we went right back to drinking!

We were absolute savages at the ages of 15 and 16. Some classy broads drinking wine out of a water bottle, smoking our cigarettes, and running from the cops…thank god things have changed for ALL of us.

I do want to say I hope everyone is enjoying my journey so far! I also hope some people can relate to the different stories that I have been telling. Feel free to comment or contact me if you have stories of your own! I would love to hear them 🙂 Thanks for the love!

“This House Is On Fire”…Literally

Welcome to my high school years; The first step to the rest of your life, the beginning of the end. Throughout high school numerous things occurred in my life. Positive things and negative things (which I am sure you already know is a guarantee for me). High school is where I had my first boyfriend, got in my first “girl fight”, lost my virginity, fought with friends, got bullied, had my first house party etc. Thinking back to it now I honestly do not know how I made it through those 4 years because I absolutely hated my high school and quite a few people in it, but did you enjoy your experience? Because if you did you are very lucky! I also looked like a creature so I still didn’t have my looks going for me. Braces and all I still thought i was hot shit though.

I am trying to think of the best story to start off with because there are infinite ones. I do have to keep it somewhat PG because I am pretty sure my mom and extended family are reading this (sorry guys). Although, We can start off with a subtle one that includes Emilia. Throughout high school you will see a lot of my stories involve her. I can’t remember if this was the summer going into high school or the summer going into our sophomore year, but whatever it was summer. We were at her house, which was kind of like an apartment building right in downtown Groveland. It was a hot summer day and we were getting ready to go somewhere and I remember either her power went out or one of the plugs wasn’t working for our hair straighter (straightening your hair was the cool thing to do no matter the style of your hair; curly,frizzy, already straight).

I told Emilia that nothing was working and she had the bright idea of going down into the basement and resetting the circuit breaker. Well I am sure you can imagine what happened next. I remember saying (while i was doing my cute bottom eyeliner and foundation that was the wrong skin tone) “Emilia what if it catches on fire”. What do you know?! As soon as Emilia reset it the plug behind me sparked. Actually I shouldn’t say sparked, the entire fucking wall went up in flames. Her bed was also next to the plug so not only did her wall catch on fire, but her bed did too, like instant bonfire. I started screaming bloody murder; “Emilia your house is on fire!”. Want to know what our first reaction was? To find the cats and save them, instead of telling the other people in the building or maybe saving over selves; we looked for the cats for a good 15 minutes while her bedroom was burning down. After that we went upstairs told the neighbors and proceeded to call 911.

Before i go any further i should tell you that the fire only stayed in her room, didn’t effect anyone else, or hurt anyone. I remember calling her parents and oh lord that was a bad call. Probably marked as one of the top ten scariest phone calls we had to make (yes, I say we because we made many scary phone calls together throughout high school). As we watched from the side of the road with her cats, sweating our asses off (because it was pretty much equal to the Sahara desert with how hot it was), slightly crying with a nervous laugh, we sat there and thought to ourselves “what the actual fuck”. People were talking about this day after day, week after week, I think it may have been in the paper? Or not, i cannot remember. Other kids were calling us idiots and making fun of us for catching her house on fire (i mean it wasn’t that BIG of a deal…).

You know my stories are not actual stories if they do not follow up with a rumor made up about me. So after this big fiasco happened a few kids who heard about it thought they would be funny and make up how it all happened. Well of course they had to add me into the equation. They ended up spreading a rumor stating that I was using my “electric dildo to much” and it blew the plug up…..ya i know FML (also I was like 15 and had no idea what that even was). Not only were kids stupid enough to believe that, i still think people to this day still say that’s what happened. You wonder why i hated some individuals in my high school. This was how Emilia and I started off our high school careers so I am sure you can put together how much of a shit show we actually were.

See ya Monday 🙂

“Bad” and Boozy

I want to first start off by saying I hope everyone had a great holiday weekend! There truly is nothing better than not having to go into work on a Monday morning. But anyways lets get back to the important stuff like me getting drunk for the first time. Yes, this is another milestone in my life that took place in 8th grade and I want to be able to be like “yeah I remember the whole thing”, but unfortunately that’s not the case.

I was with Emilia, Mia and one other girl when I first got really intoxicated. I don’t even know what drove us to want to do it, but I think we just had that “fuck it” mentality and just wanted to see what it would be like. Our drink choice of the evening was bottles of wine. I honestly can’t remember where we got the wine or if we just snagged it from one of our parents liquor cabinets or whatever (because I mean who DIDN’T take from their parents booze???), but I think we had 2 bottles. I remember being, once again, super nervous like the loser I was. I never knew what being drunk felt like so I was skeptical to see. BUT when I had that first glass of wine, then the next glass, then the next there was no looking back. I was having the time of my life and so weren’t the other girls. Get this though, we were probably in a 4×4 room with just us girls doing absolutely nothing so the time of my life was sitting there in a Kumbaya circle twiddling our thumbs. There were actually other events that took place throughout this experience that I really am not able to share in this post without sheer embarrassment, so we will skip that!

However, do you remember the first time you got drunk? How did you feel and where were you? Some people have that amazing first experience or some people have a horrible one. Which, at this point in life I should of known because none of my “firsts” turned out all that great. I do remember feeling like I was a badass and super cool because I started drinking at a young age and thought I could get responsibly drunk, but we all know that wasn’t the truth.

The night Mia, Emilia, the other girl and I got drunk we thought we were the ultimate badasses. We thought it would be rebellious to go spray shaving cream all over a stop sign across from Mia’s house. We also thought we were extremely sneaky, but in all reality four girls giggling and laughing while crossing a street under street lights isn’t all that sneaky. But back to the stop sign. ONE covering a stop sign is super dangerous when I think about it now, so I am not to sure what we were thinking (we clearly weren’t) and TWO why did we think this was bad ass? Because LET ME TELL YOU, it was raining out. IT WAS RAINING! We ran out there in the fucking rain to spray shaving cream on this stop sign only for it all to run off! I remember we sprayed it, got nervous ran back to Mias house and to her room to look out the window to see the damage we had done and the shaving cream was gone, completely gone, like nothing ever happened. WHY DID WE NOT HAVE BRAINS BACK THEN (probably because we were a lil tipsy).

This wasn’t the first or last time we all made complete asses out of ourselves while drinking. The absurd stories only continued throughout our lives and sometimes still do. The next couple posts will take you through the beginning years of high school so from about 9th to 10th grade. Those were my golden years (just kidding I never had any golden years), so stay tuned 🙂

But Then I Got High

The first time I ever got completely and utterly trashed will be a lengthy story. It involves two of my closest friends, who I still need to introduce to you too and those introductions come with stories as well. So during this post I will introduce you to those two amazing females and then the next post I will tell you about my first experience with alcohol. You also want to pay attention to these next two introductions because these two ladies play a VERY BIG part in my life throughout the rest of middle school, high school, college and present day. Their fake names will be brought up a lot because we went through some crazy life changing things together.

I will first introduce you to Mia. I met Mia in the beginning of 8th grade and right off the bat I thought she was bat shit crazy (don’t get me wrong she definitely is, but I love her). The first time we ever hung out we walked across the Haverhill bridge together, got our nails done and babysat her brother. Mia was small, now I know your thinking short, which she was, but she was like 4 feet 11 inches and 80 pounds (I actually call her midge sometimes). Platinum blonde hair, neon pink nails, and a thick Boston accent. Honestly, at first I didn’t think our friendship would last, but boy was I wrong. We have been absolute best friends since the 8th grade. You need something to laugh about? Call Mia. You need some life advice on something? Call Mia. You need a favor? Call Mia. She is literally the sweetest and most selfless person I have ever met.

Aside from her being sweet, she has this complete crazy side to her. Not in like a psycho crazy way, but in a fun, loopy, wacky crazy way. I know i can count on her to cheer me up whenever I am feeling down. She has stuck by my side for MANY insane things, she never fails me as a friend, and i feel like no matter what we go through she will always remain close to me. I mean, get this, one time i threatened to pour a 2 liter of sprite on her and she didn’t believe me. Me being me tackles this pour girl, sat on her and continued to poor the 2 liter of sprite on her (how fucking awful is that!). If she stuck by me through that i think she will stick with me through anything.

The next girl I am going to introduce you to is Emilia. Emilia came to our Middle School, i think, in the middle of eighth grade. She knew no one, didn’t really have anyone to hangout with, and was SUPER quiet and shy. One day at lunch me and a couple of my other friends saw Emilia eating alone and I walked up to her and invited her to sit with us! From that moment Emilia and I were inseparable. The stories we have together are endless. She became close with all my other friends, her and Mia got along super well, same with her and Lizzy. The sexy six soon became known as “the sexy sex + Emilia and Mia“. We all went through some shit in middle school and the stories continued into high school.

However, one distinct story I remember with Emilia is the first time i ever smoked a cigarette (yes, Emilia this was your fault!). We were at one of the “pit parties” we would always go to, which you will hear more about in high school. I had never smoked a cigarette before, but Emilia and Mia both did at this time. I remember i told Emilia I was super nervous to try one, that is when Emilia decided to let me have one of hers. ACTUALLY i should not say “let” because she nearly shoved the cigarette down my throat and told me specifically to “SMOKE IT”. I coughed and coughed and coughed like a loser, but that point on is when i started with cigarettes (I am actually currently now 2 months with none!). I genuinely just loved having Emilia as my best friend and i still do. We had the best of times and there are still so many more to come.

Now that I have introduced you to Emilia and Mia and before I get into me getting drunk the first time I want to tell you a little story that I find quite humorous. It was the first time I had ever smoked weed. The first time I ever smoked I was with Emilia, Mia, My sister, and her ex boyfriend. For some reason we thought it would be a great idea to roll 3 joints, smoke them, then go walk around the mall! Mind you, this was my first time so I had no idea what was going on, they had all smoked before so they were fine. I remember they started passing the joints around and I was so nervous. Like hands shaking, profusely sweating, didn’t talk nervous. Once I took my first hit, I knew I was high. Everyone makes up that thing “oh you don’t get high your first time smoking”. Well let me tell you that whoever is saying that is LYING to you. I was stoned out of my mind when those 3 joints were done. I remember being at the mall and feeling like i couldn’t move my feet and my eyes were so squinted that they were almost closed. Honestly, I still ask myself to this day why we went to the mall, which is probably one of the most busiest places to be! like WTF. I think Mia, Emilia, and I were wearing pajamas too? Like what the fuck our lives were a joke.

The story does not end there because when we got back to Emilia’s house we were all still super high and we thought it would be an awesome idea to make pounds of pasta. WELL let me tell you that it went completely wrong. We cooked so much with barely any water and then when i went to stir it I grabbed a wooden spoon, BUT guess what it was not a wooden spoon. My stoned, hot mess of a self grabbed Emilia’s dads back scratcher and started scooping and stirring the pasta with it. I think i noticed like 20 minutes later when it was sitting next to the stove and my high kind of wore off. Or maybe Emilia walked into the kitchen and noticed I was using it? I am not to sure. I also think we continued to eat the pasta after that. Every time i look at a back scratcher i think about it, don’t know if its a good thing or bad, but whatever!

Now that you know a little about Mia and Emilia I am going to stop rambling and have you wait until Monday for the next ridiculous story!

The Disturbing First Kiss

As I sit here and begin to type I am thinking about what story could top the American girl doll story. I then think deeper and remember my horrible, dreadful, awful first kiss. This story is honestly just shameful to tell because so many things went wrong. Everyone imagines their first kiss being this “perfect experience”, but of course mine was the complete opposite. I really don’t even know where to begin with this shit storm of a story, but are you thinking about yours right now? Think about how scared or nervous you were, now as I tell you this story try to picture me being that petrified and afraid, but ten times worse. Also remember that I was the only one out of my friends that wasn’t experienced with boys. I think at this time in eighth grade 2 of my friends had already lost their virginity, so in my group of friends I was pretty late to the game.

Back then I was also made fun of a lot by the boys because I had a really small body figure. So I had no boobs, no butt, and I was literally probably 90 pounds. Just picture a piece of cardboard and that was me. The guys actually referred to me as “flat bread pizza” and “mission impossible” and then the guy I actually had my first kiss with was then called Tom Cruise, so yeah that was my life as a 14 year old. Moving on, for me to have my first kiss, Lola and I actually planned it out. We planned out a little hangout session with 3 of us girls and 3 guys. I look back at it now and it was like the 6 most random humans you could ever pick from my middle school class. I had a crush on this kid, we will name him Nate (fun fact; he becomes my boyfriend later on in life, but we will get to that when I talk about high school). Nate was short (about the same height as that kid I named Ken earlier), but had that “bad boy” appeal to him. I thought he was the hottest thing ever (and trust me he wasn’t).

We all were hanging out in Lolas basement and oh my god it was so unbelievably awkward, it makes me cringe just thinking about it. At one point everyone went upstairs to give Nate and I some alone time, and it was just fucking weird. You know when you and one person don’t have anything to talk about in the car or even while you are out to dinner on an awkward date, yeah that was me. We literally had NOTHING to talk about, it was silent for a good ten minutes until the others FINALLY came back downstairs. The rest of the night continued to just be super strange. It wasn’t until the boys were getting up to leave that the horrendous first kiss had happened. Everyone was saying bye to one another, taking turns giving each other hugs. Then It came to Nate and I, I remember distinctly Lola and the rest of the friends making sort of a circle around us. Almost like they were getting ready to watch a movie. It was then the moment were Nate leaned in and kissed me. JUST KIDDING, if only that was how smooth it went and what actually happened. When Nate leaned into kiss me I leaned in too. However, we both did it at a super fast speed and ended up missing each others lips. So picture pretty much slobbering on one an others cheek. He actually attempted to go in for the make out and I was just trying to do a peck. So he kind of licked my face a little. Yes, I know, you are all making that face like “oh damn” or the face when you know something bad happened, I am too as I’m typing this. IT WAS SO EMBARRASSING. I remember we both missed each-others lips, quickly turned around, walked separate ways, and didn’t even say bye. I was so humiliated. Don’t forget, our friends were watching and made it even worse by giggling and snickering. After this happened Nate and I did not talk and I specifically remember him telling everyone that I missed his lips and licked his face! He never admitted to actually completely screwing up, I just came to terms that I may have fucked up a little and slobbered on his cheek (oops). So as middle school went on, even though I wasn’t called mission impossible anymore, I was now the girl who didn’t know how to kiss.

That experience was all in all just plain atrocious. After my first kiss I was so petrified to try anything with a guy again that my prude stage in life continued. Middle school continued to throw massive curve balls at me such as, my friends and I all getting lice at the same time so everyone thought we were completely disgusting, the unpleasant first time I ever got drunk (this will be our next story), the time I decided to dye my hair jet black and everyone thought I went “goth” and the list goes on. So really my first kiss wasn’t the only horrible thing to happen to me. As dreadful as my first kiss was, it is something I will NEVER forget, even though I really wish I could sometimes. However, memories like that make me laugh and make me think about how little my worries were back then, so it is almost bittersweet. I really hope these posts can have the same affect on you! Stay tuned for more of my hot mess life during middle school on Thursday!

The Poor American Girl Doll

Middle school, middle school, middle school, oh what an odd time. There are so many things that happened in my life during this period, but don’t worry I won’t tell you guys everything and bore you with the lame stuff. I do want to say first and foremost who honestly was cute during their middle school days? I want you to take hard look at yourself back then and really think because I know for a FACT I was NOT (and honestly I am jealous if you were, because I could have used the help). I mean compared to the girls in middle school now a days, I was a troll back then. Oh I forgot to tell you that until I was about 14 or 15 I had a HUGE gap in between my two front teeth, you could probably fit about 4 quarters in it, so I had this going for me too. That glorious gap caused me to get braces right around middle school, which made my looks go from about a 3 to a -2.

Anyways back to the important stuff. Middle school was the time where you found the group of friends that you fit into. You figure out who the “cool” kids are, who the smart ones are and who the overall deadbeats are (at least this is my opinion). Now, try to look at it from my point of view, I went to a middle school that included three different towns. So after going to my small town elementary school I was introduced to 2 other big towns. Was I the best at social skills? No, was I awkward as fuck? Completely, Did I think I was a bad ass? Totally (my confidence was way to high for a 13 year old). However, I managed to actually fit in with a few different groups. I also was lucky because I had played soccer and knew some girls from other towns. 7th grade is where you will be introduced to some more lifelong friends. Two of them are extremely important to me to this day. We will name one Hillary and the other Lola. I knew both of these lovely ladies from soccer, so if I really think about it I met them in 6th grade. When I met them we instantly clicked. I remember we were all on the same soccer team and I was thinking to myself “wow these girls are equally as strange as I am!”. I think the day I knew we would be forever friends was when we took dirt clumps from the soccer field and were throwing them up in the air and continuing to try and dodge them from one another (the little things we found enjoyment out of). I think after like 5 minutes the coaches finally saw what we were doing and yelled at us. However, from that day forward is when our friendships grew to be best friends, which then leads us to now, lifelong friends.

You will hear more about Hillary in my high school stories and present day stories because boy we went through some funny shit. But Lola is someone I will progressively talk about. Lola, was probably my best friend in middle school. Our dads were friends, we played soccer together, we were in classes together, we hung-out more and more every week. She also grew close to my hometown friends such as, Lizzy. So I thought that was completely fucking awesome. BUT Lola was super into boys and as I stated previously I was a prude so half the time she was talking about them, I didn’t even understand (yeah I know I was a loser). I mean just a few years before her and I were hanging out I was making boys email me to dump me. A lot of my friends were into boys at an early age, but little ole me just sat from the sidelines, watched and listened.

Lola and I had entered 8th grade together along with Lizzy, Hillary and a few other close friends. 8th grade is where the juicy stories come into play. I think I was about 13 or 14 I am not sure, my time and age ratio has been off before. I will however, give you a little lead into my next stories to come. Me and 5 other girls called ourselves the sexy 6 (wow even typing that is super embarrassing) and there was a group of boys that called themselves the shockers (I can’t even believe I’m telling everyone this). All of us hung out all the time, we would plan these big movie trips together, hangout at each-others house and we all thought we were super cool. I distinctly remember everyone was at that age where “hooking up” was becoming interesting to us (well not me). One time one of the boys and one of the girls wanted to “hook up”. We were all at this kids house (it was an absolute mansion) enjoying ourselves In the basement (soberly) and these two decide they are going to! ALTHOUGH, neither of them have ever done what they were about to do (if you’re younger than 18 please stop reading). Like what a great time to try this “new” thing out, while all your friends are with you, NOT. The girl wanted to give this boy a blowjob, but she didn’t even know what It really was or how to (I know your probably reading this and saying “what the actual fuck is happening”, trust me I was too at the time). So she wanted to practice, while he was waiting in the closet with his pants down, mind you we are like 14 years old. My friend then proceeds to walk over to me with a doll In her hand and tells me to “rip the American girl dolls arm off her body”. ME BEING THE PRUDE I AM IMMEDIATELY GOES BEAT RED. I remember looking at her and being like “why me?! Are you going to try and suck that thing?!”, she proceeded to tell me yes! I was mortified. I then watched her practice giving a blowjob on the dolls arm for approximately 2 minutes, then prance right into the closet where the kid was sitting to give her first “blowjob”. At this point my mind was BLOWN. Your mind probably is too right now. You guys have no idea what type of roller coaster ride I am about to put you through during my life in 8th grade!

Elementary School “Love”

So in the last post I started giving you an insight about what my “love life” (if that’s what you want to call it) consisted of. Throughout first – sixth grade I had a boy who I thought I was completely in love with (meaning we were EMAILING each other that we loved one another and couldn’t wait to see each other in class the next day). I remember in 5th grade he wanted to break up with me and he told one of his friends to do it for him and I demanded he email it to me that night himself. Honestly, who the fuck did I think I was? This elementary school girl demanding boys to email her (maybe this is where my craziness peaked). This is also where I should have realized boys absolutely suck. A couple days after that I wanted to date this really cute kid, long blonde hair, blue eyes, and freckles (don’t forget I was still apparently “in love” with what’s his name above), I thought I was some hot shit. I remember being like “okay boys who wants me more” (HAHAHA honestly wish I could go back and give myself a wack across the head). Well anyways this absurd boy drama continued when this kid moved to Groveland. I am currently introducing you to another lifelong friend, we will name him Ken (he is also probably going to kill me for this, but only because I picked his name to be Ken, not for the stories I will be telling) I remember all of us girls wanting him, like he was some sort of snack, he was actually wicked short with kind of a bowl cut, if I remember correctly. All of us “friends” would meet up at the park while there was baseball going on and one time we all went in the woods for everyone to have their first kiss (LOL). Ken went to kiss his girlfriend at the time and had to step on a stepping stool (I don’t remember if this was a rumor or not because now I am thinking about why we would have a stool in the middle of the woods?) Anyways, at least he got his first kiss, you won’t hear my story about that until middle school because I was a prude (or is prude even a thing when your like 11 years old?). BUT Ken continued to be an interesting character and trust me he definitely still is, you will hear a lot more about him in my high school years.

I am starting to drift off of topic (this happens sometimes so don’t mind me). However, Elementary school love was fun and enthralling compared to middle school, high-school, and college. I honesty wish things could be that easy sometimes and my bad bitch self (the girl demanding emails) could come back and be like “okay boys who wants me more”. But everyone knows we grow up and things start to become more serious and start to hurt us more and emotions you never thought you had come out. I think I learned all of this in middle school, which we will get to next. I am sure everyone reading this is thinking about their so called “love life” in elementary school and isn’t it humorous to think about? I mean I had one boyfriend one day and then another a couple days after that. LIKE HOW COOL. Trust me I wasn’t the only hustler back then, Lizzy had her fair share and so didn’t a few other girls. Overall, the moral of the story is that no matter how ridiculous things may seem things could always be worse. I remember, back then, thinking that my world was over after that kid wanted to break up with me or that I didn’t have my first kiss yet, yes I know I was young and naive. However, If I only knew the gist of what I was going to have to go through in the years to come, I would have stayed in the woods with my friends watching Ken trying to get his first kiss, forever.

In the next few posts, I will be introducing you into my middle school years and how not only boy issues were a thing, but friendships and family problems started arising as well. The further we get into my life the more you will see, not only the amusing and whimsical stories, but the dark ones too. Not everyones life is peaches and cream and I think we all can agree with that! Stay tuned you all are amazing 🙂

How It All Started

Since this blog is all about my hot mess of a life, I will start off by saying it was not always like this (and by that i mean in elementary school like maybe kindergarten and first grade). I went to Bagnall, which was a small town school where everybody knew everybody. I attended school here from kindergarten – 6th grade. For a couple of those years I was cute, innocent, quiet Gabby. Other times it was not always like that. This is the part where I will introduce you to one of my lifelong best friends, we will name her Lizzy. We met in the first grade, if i remember correctly, so that puts us at about 21 years of friendship (holy shit that is a lot). Lizzy and I were best friends since I can remember, we were tied to the hip. We did absolutely everything together. I think it was in second grade where we were the only 2 in our class who had to go to a “special” reading class together, and we had this very interesting (to say the least) teacher (if she is reading this, she knows exactly who I am talking about). I guess you can say this is when inappropriate and crude Gabby came out.

I will tell you this, I cannot count on one hand how many times I was asked to go to the principle or brought down there, but I know Lizzy was with me most of those times! She was like my sidekick, I think we were in every class together except for 5th grade when we were split up, but that did not stop our trouble making. We always liked adventures such as, going out in the woods behind my house or hers, getting chased by turkeys, going camping and doing questionable things in the water, or playing in the swamp behind my house (yes i know disgusting, but this is something we actually did and yes we were about 11 or 12). I remember one distinct memory of our swamp play is when my neighbor (we will call him Mark) pushed me in the swamp and Mark and Lizzy just stood there laughing at me and I flopped around in the mud/water. Was I mad? Yes, but i always got them back. Crude Gabby came into play when Lizzy and I were at her house and we were walking down the stairs and I randomly just decided to push Lizzy down the stairs, RIGHT IN FRONT OF HER MOM! Evil right? She will NEVER let me live that one down.
Anyways, Lizzy and I had a lot of times like the ones I explained above, it was always a crazy experience when we were together (and it still is, those stories are to come). However, I cannot blame my inappropriateness and craziness all on our friendship, because in elementary school is when little 11 year old Gabby became boy crazy. My next story will explain all the “boyfriends” I had in elementary school and how awesome I thought i was. Trust me you do not want to miss that. I will give you one little insight to it; in 6th grade a boy put his arm around me while the class was watching a movie, ya know a cute romantic gesture on his part, and the teacher (in front of the whole class) yelled at us and told him to “sign his card”, which was equal to making a deal with the devil. I was absolutely mortified, my face must of turned 50 shades of red. The stories only get worse from there, and this is only elementary school. I am sure you can only imagine what else is to come!

Welcome to my story!

I first wanted to start off by saying a big hello and introducing myself. My name is Gabrielle, but most people (I mean everyone other than my parents and sister) call me Gabby. I am super excited to be starting this blog and sharing my life with each and every one of you. I was super hesitant at first, but then I thought “fuck it, let’s show people what a hot mess truly is”. If you are thinking to yourself that this is just another one of those blogs where a girl tries to inspire other people and ramble on about her life, then think again! I am here to basically show you and tell you life is extremely difficult, it truly comes with so many shitty things. I will tell you stories about some of my ultimate highs (and no not drug related but maybe some we will see) and some of my major lows. Stories will range from relationships, friendships, personal issues, family life, and just overall how my life came to be the ridiculous hot mess it is. Most names you read will be fake names, but every single crazy and ludicrous story you read are 100% true. I really want to be able to show everyone that you are not alone in this crazy thing you call life. Some people need that extra push to see that or need a lame blog post to realize it, I mean that’s what helped me! So, yes, here I am willing to spill all my dirty secrets, dramatic stories, and absolutely absurd life experiences to a bunch of complete strangers! Some may call me crazy, but hey, some may thank me :).

Life is YOUR story to write. You can do anything in this world and it will still be YOUR unique individual story. The direction you choose to take is how you choose to write your book. So as you read my story, think about your own and how special yours genuinely is. Because even if you are a topnotch hot mess like me; each and every word you write or direction you take, is an important part in your life story.