Chronicles

I’m Sorry!

Hi there!!!

I know it has been forever since I have written anything and I am honestly so sorry for that! Life has just been crazy and with the holidays coming up I cant find a minute to breathe! But I wanted to just chime in here today and let you know that next week the blog posts will be starting up again! I am super excited to get back into a good routine and just in time for Christmas!

So try to stay patient and make sure to check back in next week 🙂

Updates To Come!

Good Morning! I didn’t forget about you all (maybe I did last Thursday, but not today)…oops. I have decided I am going to change up my blogging schedule a bit just with how crazy its been. I might do it on a basis of when I am available or only once a week. But once I start working from home I know I will have a lot more time to sit and really think about the things I want to tell you guys. But don’t worry I will keep you updated!

Yesterday was a shitty day outside so I had time to think about different things I wanted to post about. However, everything I thought about came down to being either inappropriate to talk about or just plain raunchy and gross lol. Or the other alternative stories came down to me being a drunk mess, which is something I am not very proud of.

My parents came and visited Mateo and I yesterday and we were talking about how it has been 1 year since my life drastically changed. I went from drinking everyday, partying every night, eating SO unhealthy, not in any type of healthy relationship, friends that were only drinking buddies and no plan for my future. To now, a home owner, with a man I love, a puppy and kitten of our own, starting my own business, and sober for almost 9 months. It literally is so hard to believe sometimes. And I know I have probably repeated myself on many occasions, but it really is just such an awesome and amazing feeling.

If I am going to be truthful with you all, some of the stories I choose not share because it reminds me of how bad it was a year ago or when I was drinking. It reminds me of how rugged I was lol and how I had no care in the world. But luckily I have an amazing boyfriend, family and support system of friends to have helped me get where I am today.

Enough of the sappy shit and the sentimental moments, its time to really get back to my hot mess of a life. Like how my cat flings her poop around in the basement or how my dog rips holes in literally every piece of clothing I own or how I went to the doctors the other day because I thought I had a kidney infection when really my doctor thinks I just pulled a muscle (yes, I am a super hypochondriac).

Overtime I will be coming up with a list of things I want to share with you all that I haven’t yet, but the posts for now will most likely only be once a week! I will constantly be making changes and I am sorry for that, but please bear with me!

Leap Of Faith

Happy Tuesday!!!! I know I suck, I forgot to post yesterday. But don’t worry my mom reminded me last night that I was “letting down” my followers lol. So I told her that I would post today.

But let me ask you…how are the holidays for people? Are they as crazy for you guys as they are for me. It will be my first Christmas out of my house and with Mateo! Such a weird feeling, but also kind of exciting. Mateo and I were talking last night about the amount of money we are limiting ourselves to spend on each other this year, by the time the conversation was done and we had gone over the gifts we want I think we both reached over that limit. OOPS! I hate shopping, but I love spoiling people! I think its so much fun! Black Friday and Cyber Monday are my shiiiiiiiit.

If the holidays weren’t already crazy enough I recently just resigned from my job to take the leap and start up my own marketing and promoting business. I started doing it in August, but never really said anything to anyone just in case it didn’t work out, but it has proven to be VERY successful so far. Many people have judged this decision or are “disappointed” or whatever, but honestly at the end of the day I don’t really care about any one else’s opinion. It makes me extremely happy to know I am starting something up with my own two hands and helping people become successful with their companies and businesses. It has taken A LOT of time and investing to become as successful as I have been, but it is so worth it. I work with customers individually and get positive responses back everyday. I just love it and it makes me so fortunate.

Will I miss my 9-5 job everyday and traveling to and from work? No probably not, but will I go stir crazy working from home all day everyday? Who knows I guess I will just have to find out! If its goes good then it goes good, if it goes bad then i learn from it. At the end of the day at least I can say I tried.

I used to be so scared of changing things up and taking chances especially when it came to my life and money, but I figured I recently just moved into my own house with my boyfriend and adopted a puppy, why not make one more change! I can tell you that I had many thoughts going through my head and the most important thing, to me, was not letting down my parents. I kept asking myself if they would be upset with me, mad at me, disappointed with me, etc. I mean I am promoting numerous kinds of businesses from models to personal trainers and they might not agree with everything I am promoting, but at the end of the day I AM HAPPY. And that is something no one can take away from me. I have talked to my mom about it and she is on my side, maybe only like 75%, but shes getting there! The next person is my dad!

All in all you always want to focus on your personal goals and happiness. I have learned over the past few years to not give a shit what people think about you. People are going to judge no matter what you do. As you know I have been judged A LOT, but that has only given me more of a reason to keep pushing and become even more successful.

Listen to me, like I am some type of life coach lol. Trying to give you all and inspirational speech. HOWEVER, it is all the truth and I am proud to say that! Keep on keepin on! That is what I have always told myself and will continue to tell myself. Do not ever be scared to take a chance on something 🙂

See you all Thursday!

Adulting

Hello all and good morning! The last time I posted was October 28th right before we moved into our house! I am so sorry you have not heard from me since. I have been crazy busy! Our puppy is also an energizer bunny, but she just started her first day of doggy daycare yesterday, so hopefully this will help her get her crazies out.

When I decided I wanted to write a post today I didn’t really think about what I wanted to write or a certain topic I wanted to write about so don’t mind me if I start to ramble a bit.

I will start by saying that our house is amazing! The move went so smooth and we actually have everything unpacked already except for a few minor things. It still is sort of surreal to him and I because we can’t really believe that we actually have our own house. Neither of us have ever lived on our own (I cant remember if I mentioned that) so when we go home at night it feels like we are away for the weekend and have to go back to our parents house in a few days. I am not sure when it will hit us that we are actually there to stay and build a life together .

It is very weird to actually be an “adult” now…like the other day I got excited about a vacuum? AND asked my mom for a crock pot for Christmas….like who am I? When I used to get home from work I would go hide away in my bedroom, hang on my phone or laptop and watch TV. NOW I get home feed our pets, figure out what is for dinner, clean the house a bit, do laundry and then finally relax on the couch at like 9:30! Just the other weekend I had texted my parents because I cleaned my first toilet! Like it was some sort of accomplishment or something lol. Like no Gabby this is what people do everyday and what it is like having your own place. I literally have to tell myself that at least 15 times a day.

When we first moved in we started ordering stuff on Amazon like madmen and we realized that we have 24 hour shipping, after we learned that it was mayhem. We had at-least 10-15 packages everyday coming in and sometimes still do. I used to order clothes and cool things off of amazon, but nope now these packages consist of shelves, wall decor and fake succulents like what the fuck. The other day Mateo got excited about drill bits and nails that had been delivered to the house. Literally, who are we? The couple that would go out every weekend, get a new electronic or plan a weekend away. Now we are the couple that gets excited about tools and house decor. I mean I guess this is part of the adulting stage, right?

However, all this adulting is fun. Its different, but its fun. I wouldn’t change anything going on in my life right now for the world. I am SO lucky to be where I am at and have what I have.

I hope everyone has a great weekend & on Monday I will start getting back into my stories of my ridiculous life!

The Big Move

Good Morning and happy Monday everyone! Last week was crazy busy; doing our last minute shopping and getting ready to move. I actually completely forgot to post on Thursday and didn’t realize until Friday night…oops.

Tomorrow is finally the day where we move into our new home and we couldn’t be more excited. Yesterday we packed the U haul in the pouring rain and tomorrow when we move everything into the house its supposed to be raining as well ! Just our luck 🙂 At least it isn’t some type of blizzard or crazy storm that we will be dealing with.

You don’t really realize how much shit you accumulate over the course of your life until you move out. Mateo and I in the beginning were like “we don’t have that much stuff to move” because neither of us have ever lived in an apartment or condo. That was until I started packing and was on my 5th box of shoes within the first couple of hours. Then overtime we realized the different things we were going to need and the things we don’t have the are a necessity when living in the house. In the end we completely packed tight a 15 foot U haul truck, my moms truck and Mateo’s car lol. So we ended up having a lot more stuff to move than we thought. AND on top of it all we adopted a 10 week year old puppy! We went and met her last Monday and then had to get all the stuff that a puppy needs. So not only are we moving into a new house tomorrow we are picking up our puppy on Thursday!

We definitely are taking on a lot all at once, but I couldn’t be any happier. Its honestly super refreshing too. Like moving out of the small town where everyone knows everything about each other. I get to, now, move to a huge city and kind of just start over with Mateo, our puppy and our cat. Where no one knows anything about us and no one can judge. We are able to start a life together, meet new friends, find new jobs and begin our future.

Am I going to miss my house that I have lived in with my parents for the past 24 years? OF COURSE. It will definitely be a change and an adjustment, but I have been ready for it for awhile and so hasn’t Mateo.

I will attempt to post Thursday and next Monday, but it is certainly going to be crazy trying to unpack and get our pup adjusted to the new home all at once! Thank you to those who have commented and messaged me to say congrats or good luck! It means a lot 🙂

“Drinking Was My Best Friend”

Happppy almost Friday! That means the weekend is just that much closer, which means moving is literally less than two weeks away!!! After Tuesdays post I was expecting to get a lot more back lash than I did, but I am happy that I didn’t! Someone mentioned to me that it sounded like I am ready to let go of that friendship, which couldn’t be anymore true!

Anyways, I have surprisingly gotten a lot of comments about my drinking and how I stopped. Not really comments, but more of questions on how I did it and what drove me to do it. I mentioned in past posts that I got myself in a lot of trouble awhile back and it pretty much scared me straight. I have never elaborated on these stories because I don’t want people to think I am trying to seek attention or sympathy. Also because I never really found it important to talk about. However, I then think back to one of the first posts I ever shared with you guys and I mention that “your struggle is part of your story”. Do I think at one point I was struggling? Hell yeah, did I think it was an important part of my story? No. BUT your story is what makes you who you are, so everything you go through is an important part.

Throughout all my posts you experienced the parties, the troubles, the fun times and the bad times. You might have also noticed that drinking was a part of every single one of those times. Drinking was a HUGE thing for me, I loved it, I absolutely loved it. Is it hard for me to talk about? COMPLETELY. I never planned on not drinking. No matter how many awful situations I found myself in, it was never in my plan to quit. Until I found myself in trouble with the cops one to many times. I was court ordered to stop my drinking immediately and to be tested for alcohol randomly. I remember when they told me this I thought to myself ” Fuck that, I can find a way around it”. So that is what I did I found ways around it. Until I didn’t. I was caught red handed and immediately ordered to go see the chief of probation. I remember being told if I was ever caught or screwed up probation I would be sentenced to 3 months in jail. But me being the stubborn bitch I am and thinking I am capable of anything always thought to myself “that wouldn’t happen to me”. Until it did. I was caught and I thought for sure I was going to be arrested.

I went into panic mode. I was ready for it. I knew I was caught and there wasn’t a damn thing I could do about it. I couldn’t even explain the terror I felt and I cant sit here and try to justify what I did because I knew I had fucked up. Luckily, though, they gave me a pass and told me if I screw up again, there is no meeting, there is no warning, I will have a warrant out for my arrest and I will be sentenced to 90 days. Right then and there is where I knew I had to stop drinking.

So, no, I never stopped drinking because I wanted to or because I thought I was an alcoholic. I stopped because I had to and because I knew it was the right choice if I ever wanted to have a normal life. I stopped cold turkey, threw all the booze I had away, stopped going out to parties and bars, I even stopped going into liquor stores. Overtime it became more clear that I clearly had an issue. I now sit here almost 8 months sober and don’t have any words for my accomplishments. I look back a year ago and I was in a TERRIBLE place, its honestly awful to think about. Drinking was my best friend and worst enemy at the same time. Will I ever pick up a drink again? I honestly have no idea. Will I ever be able to teach myself to just have one? Once again, I have no idea. The only thing I can do right now is focus on one day at a time.

I am thankful for where I am at today and the people that are in my life.

The Boy Next Door

Happy Tuesday!!! I know I am a day late, but yesterday I was crazy busy in the morning and honestly, I forgot to post lol. MY BAD. But I am kind of happy I did because it gave me a little time to think about what I wanted to talk about. I know I was on the Mateo and I trail, but this morning, for some odd reason, I remembered my next door neighbor. I thought “humph, I wonder what he’s up to”. Then I remembered “oh yeah he got married, to a girl that hates me and I wasn’t invited to the wedding after 21+ years of friend ship”.

I really cannot tell you why I thought about that this morning, but for some reason it really irritated me and got under my skin. I want you all to think about this and don’t just brush it off your shoulders, I mean really think about it. Have you EVER had a best friend (more like brother to me) completely remove you out of their life because of a significant other? Because maybe you didn’t like that significant other or they didn’t like you? Well I have! His wife hates me, not just dislikes me, literally hates my guts and when someone doesn’t like me guess what? I don’t like them. YES I’M PETTY I KNOW! I tried to be the bigger person on countless occasions, but it just ended up in name calling, fights, etc….

BUT this wonderful neighbor of mine, who I thought actually gave a shit about me, didn’t do a damn single thing. He is in the Marines and when he would get home I usually would be so excited to see him, hangout with him, whatever. I remember when he told me he was going. It was on my front porch and I started immediately crying. He was like a brother to me, it was sad! We have known each other since 4 or 5 years old and we did everything together; traveled, holidays, birthdays, family gatherings etc. But back to my point, yeah, he didn’t do shit. He eventually stopped talking to me, stopped telling me when he would be home, stopped telling me when he was leaving again and kind of slowly just ghosted me. And it was all because of his current wife….pretty fucking sad if you ask me (or whipped you can decide).

I could sit here all day and call them mean names, shit on them and down right tell all the dirty dark secrets about our ENTIRE friendship, but I am not going to do that (because I am pretty sure it would ruin his marriage) I just wanted to get my point across, that no matter what, a significant other should not cause you to remove people from your life. ESPECIALLY ones that were so important to you. However, this made me start to realize that, maybe he didn’t really care about our friendship and that I was never “important” to him. So I kind of stopped trying. I actually am pretty sure that I have him blocked on everything and his family blocked on everything, but it doesn’t really matter when they literally live 10 feet next to you.

I don’t know where he is, what he’s doing, or what his life really consists of and I don’t want this post to make him think I care. This post is simply to get frustration out because it pisses me off that someone can just do that to another person. The farther you go in life the more you realize who is and isn’t a true friend. He clearly wasn’t. Love will make you do crazy things I guess.

MANY of you will think this post is harsh and I am sure I will get A LOT of back lash from it, but there are things people will be opinionated about and I cannot stop that. This is simply how I feel. I will respond to all comments and messages as they come in 🙂

Love Is Love

How is it honestly already Thursday…I feel like time is going by way to quick and I still have SOOOO much packing to do before we move. Anyways, good morning, just one more day until Friday! Remember Mondays post about high school reunions? Well yeah, not even after an hour of posting this blog did I see that my high school is planning to do one right around Thanksgiving. They are actually taking a vote on which day would be best.

Mia had texted me that day and said “your coming with me” I think my exact response was “yeah right, did you not read my latest blog post”. But honestly, I do want to know how it goes so hopefully Mia will go and then give me all the details.

I know over time I get off track and kind of go every which way with the stories I am telling you, but its just how my brain works. I think the last thing I was telling you about during this hot mess life of mine was the relationship between Mateo and I. I was telling you all about how much of a brat I was because he didn’t ask me to be his girlfriend when I wanted…..I know I’m ridiculous.

Here Mateo and I are 19 days before we move in together, starting our future together and you want to know the funny part? Him and I never even really talked about moving in together. We kind of both just wanted it so bad that we went out and started looking at houses one day, completely skipping the apartment or condo stage. I mean we talked about it a little bit and planned out how things would work, but we were never like “will you move in with me, or should we move in together”. We kind of always just knew that’s what we wanted.

I’m trying to find the right way to say what I want to say so bear with me, but I think I knew Mateo was the one I wanted to make these life changes with when he stuck by my side during the hardest times of my life 1 month into dating me. He did not care about what type of baggage I had, the awful shit I had done or even the crap I was dealing with. The only important thing he always told me was that “he will be there for me no matter what”. I mean a month and a half into dating him, I went into a rehab program and what did he do? We talked twice a day, he sent me letters I think 2 or 3 times? I received packages from him and he always made sure to remind me how much he loved me. I MEAN THIS WAS A MONTH INTO DATING EACH OTHER! I feel like a lot of guys I know would run the other way.

I feel like with the guys I previously had dated I would have to worry about them cheating or not talking to me or just not really giving a shit about what I was going through while I was there. And let me tell you it might have been only 14 days, but it was honestly the hardest 14 days of my life. Don’t get me wrong, it was life changing, but fucking hard. Mateo was simply a blessing during this time and it only made our relationship that much stronger when I got home. I think that’s the point where I was like ” I never want to be away from this man again”. I know I am being cheesy and lovey dovey, but its just the truth! He has been there for me for EVERYTHING and i will never really be able to say thank you enough. These next 19 days cannot come quick enough for him and I 🙂

Over the next month, posts might dwindle down just because of how busy I will be, but I will try my hardest to stick to my Monday and Thursday schedule. I hope you all have a great rest of your week and weekend!

High School Reunions….

Another dreadful Monday after a nice weekend. I know most of us hate Mondays because I certainly do. Mateo and I spent our entire weekend house shopping, packing and getting stuff ready because our closing date is a lot sooner than we thought! Which is obviously exciting, but nerve wracking at the same time.

However, this morning I saw something come up on my Facebook about high school reunions and I thought to myself “I have been out of high school since 2013, does that mean I have a reunion coming up?”. The first thing I said to myself after I thought that was “LOL I am definitely not going if that is the case”. I really want to know if a high school reunion is something people get excited about? Like do people genuinely look forward to going to those things. All I can think about is, ugh I will go, get judged by all the girls that hated me in high school and not talk to one single person. I know many people from my high school actually read my blogs, which is cool, so shout out to you. The only reason I know that is because they have reached out to me. But anyways back to my point; I fucking hated high school. There would be no chance you would EVER get me to go to my high school reunion, not in a million years. What is honestly the point? To sit around, talk, drink and mingle with a bunch of people who don’t like one another or who just “faked” liking people.

I know many of you reading this are probably like “wow, she is such a bitch” or “damn she is negative”. And yeah I definitely am being a downer about this topic because I just cant stand to think about me in that situation surrounded by everyone I went to high school with. I had SUCH a bad rep in high school that I couldn’t even imagine the things people would say about me, which is sad to think about, but its just the truth.

Have you or would you go to your high school reunion? Really think about that for a second. I completely get that you would go if you had such a great time in high school and loved everyone, but that is simply not the case for me. I certainly wasn’t apart of the “cool crowd” in my class, but do me, Emilia, Mia and Lola like to think we were? Of course. People used to look at us like we were the “mean girls”, which was not the case at all because, frankly, I think we were nice to most people, at least from what I can remember. Although, I still get people from my high school that tell me I had a constant “resting bitch face”. I mean, I don’t think that was just a high school thing because I still do on most occasions.

In my opinion, I just think that high school reunions are overrated, UNLESS you go and there is an open bar and you just get trashed, because I remember that used to be my plan before I got sober. NOW I just think its stupid, but definitely kudos to you if you think its fun. It will be 7 years out of high school for me in 2020 and I have been doing perfectly fine with my select few friends in those 7 years. No reason to go back in time and see people that I didn’t like and that didn’t like me!

Now that I am done venting about how much I hate reunions I hope everyone has a great Monday and rest of your week! I will see you all on Thursday 🙂

We Are Home Owners!

Hi All! So I know its been awhile since I have posted and I kind of just went MIA after the last post I wrote, but its because my dumb ass self forgot to tell you I was taking a little break from September to the beginning of October. The reason being is because it was ultimate crunch time for Mateo and I to find a house. This past weekend we went and looked at 9 houses and before that, I couldn’t even tell you the amount of houses we looked at. It becomes so overwhelming and stressful and I honestly had no Idea it could be like that. However, we are proud to say that we have found a house, put an offer on it and the offer was accepted!!!!

This house is perfect for us and we fell completely in love with it. It was the very first house we looked at on Saturday and we were only going to the open house to get some practice before we went to the houses we “thought” we liked. So before we fell asleep Friday night I even looked at him and said “we don’t HAVE to go to that one, we can skip it and go to the ones we are interested in”. Mateo shook his head and was just like ” lets just go look”. Good thing we did because it is now OUR home and the place where we will be building our future together. HOW INSANE IS THAT? It is just crazy how things work the way they do.

Now let me tell you this type of process tests the fuck out of relationships. Remember how I told you Mateo and I never argue? Well, well well….we had our fair share of arguments when it came to this topic. God damn was it stressful as all hell. But at the end of the day him and I are happier than we ever could be. We are so excited to build a life in our new home. The best part is he told me i could get my kitty a friend after we are settled. So that just makes everything 10 times better.

Never would I have thought a year ago that I would be where I am at today. I cant even believe how much my life has changed and in ALL positive ways. Yesterday was 7 months sobriety and we bought a house like WTF. It is such an amazing feeling and change that Mateo and I are both so ready for. It truly is surreal and we are both filled with an overwhelming amount of happiness. I can confidently sit here and say I am more than proud of myself and Mateo 🙂